Boom! “What was that?” someone in the darkness said. He hopped into a car and drove it to a hole in the ground. He jumped into it but he landed on something soft. He took off his jumper and it was a boy. He looked sixteen. Then he went in a hole that went out of the other hole he went to get some sticks for a fire. He saw a lot of cars lined up but they where in water coming at him and a man he jumped and saved the man but he died.
The link to our class blog is here.
Great job Will good use of adjectives.
Also good job by making it very interesting.
But maybe a little more detail would do.
But well done.
I liked the sudden story change at the end. I also thought that you used verbs and adjectives in the right place but I didn’t really understand the story line, it was a bit messed up with the holes but other than that it was pretty good well done.